Not all treasure is silver and gold - Chapter 34

Ahoy me good crew!!

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Love, Captain karinvam

Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1 - Pirates!
Chapter 2 - Its all true
Chapter 3 - Yes Captain
Chapter 4 - Never trust a pirate
Chapter 5 - Waking up in hell
Chapter 6 - Not that innocent
Chapter 7 - Right Decision, Wrong Choice
Chapter 8 - Damn him!
Chapter 9 - Missed a spot
Chapter 10 - C'est une belle histoire
Chapter 11 -Kisses and Dramaqueens
Chapter 12 - Damaged
Chapter 13 - Liar
Chapter 14 - Saved to kill you
Chapter 15 - When I need you most
Chapter 16 - No black no white
Chapter 17 - All Better
Chapter 18 - Last night was a lie
Chapter 19 - Todat would be hell
Chapter 20 - It was you
Chapter 21 -You were me
Chapter 22 - Just like me
Chapter 23 - God no...Please no...
Chapter 24 - Together
Chapter 25 - Free
Chapter 26 - Take me home
Chapter 27 - Dream
Chapter 28 - Bedrest
Chapter 29 - Another Option
Chapter 30 - Its in the rain
Chapter 31 - Thank You
Chapter 32 - Won't you miss me?
Chapter 33 - It just happened

Chapter 34 – Like a fairytale

I winched as the thick, dark fluent splashed heavily on my tongue, and left a dazzling trail of a rich burning sensation from my throat to the inside of my belly as it poured into me. Settling in my stomach as a warm and heavy blanket.

I shivered as the content of the glass hit the walls of my guts. Leaving me with a feeling I had never experienced before. All I could feel was that the sensation spiralling straight to my head.

Realizing it was definitely all it was said to be, and I all I had feared it would.

Instantly making me feel slightly dizzy as I tried to fight the feeling of my soul being yanked out and up as it started to hover an inch above my body.

By only one single cup of the thick, heavy rum.

I exhaled as I swallowed, before placing the cup back on the table with a louder thud then my intention had been. Suddenly feeling the eyes of some of the pirates on me as they looked up from their conversation to see what had caused the sudden sound.

I felt a bit nauseated now by the new experience, but most of all I was washed over by a sense of warmth. Of heavy, safe warmth.

Of pride.

I could do this. I could do this too. Like a real pirate, like all of them. Yes, I could be just like them all.

He had called out my name quietly, as well as questioningly when I heard him then. Without even receiving the chance to face him, I suddenly felt a warm and heavy hand coming to rest on my shoulder.

Making me turn in my seat to look at him, straight into a pair of big and concerned eyes of crystallized forest green. Making me drown in his soul as I felt my stomach flutter at the combination of the lightness in my head, the beauty of his eyes, together with the warmth of his hands on my body.

"Bam, slow down darling. It is okay for you to have a drink but remember you are not used to it."

My Captain spoke gently to me as I smiled at him. He seemed careful not to attract the attention of the rest of the crew, who had suddenly become a bit more quiet in their conversations. Keeping a small eye on the scene happening between me and their leader.

I had after all drained the cup of the Captain without his permission. A sin that could let to the death, would one not be careful enough.

But this, however, seemed the least of my Captain's worries right now, and it could have been the alcohol, but this thought spread warmth from my heart to the rest of my body until I could feel it flush. Biting my lip to hide my sudden giddiness towards his reaction to me.

My Captain did not care about me draining his cup. No, he was once again concerned with my health more then all other.

The feeling this brought me...it was making me restless and almost caused me to laugh out loud.

I loved him so much.

If he only knew.

If he only knew that deep down, he loved me too.

"I am getting use to it right now."

I answered him smugly as my hand reached for the bottle on the table. Suddenly feeling a lot braver and knowing I was doing these things without thinking them trough. Something I never used to do.

And it was not just the alcohol driving me to this point no.

Alcohol, and my desire to be with him. To be loved by him.

He only shook his head in the very instant as he placed his free hand over mine holding the bottle.

"Bam, you will get sick if you don't take it slow."

He protested weakly, as I took a swing from the bottle with much enthusiasm. Now hearing some of the other members cheering as they noticed my sudden and bolt change in behaviour.

Making me feel brave instead of desperate. Desperate which I truly was, but even I could not feel this any longer. 

I winched at the taste of another big and burning sip of rum running down my throat, and almost jumped when I felt a sudden slap on my small back from another hand.

Shaking my body entirely, and I had my neighbour Bazie grinning widely at me with yellow teeth.

“Finally growing some balls and ready to play with the big boys, eey?”

He snickered as the rest of the table suddenly laughed and cheered as the mood change, and they started shoving various bottles my way while grinning at me in their amusement.

Amused by my actions, and willing to encourage me to discover the ways of a pirate life.

Embracing me to join them, like one of the crew. Just like I had wanted.

All of them, but my Captain.

And Dani.

My Captain’s hand was still resting on mine on the bottle. His other now removed from my shoulder. A look in his eyes that seemed to waver between confusion and concern. The same look that could be found in Dani’s eyes as he observed the scene from his seat across the room.

Why? Wasn’t this how it should be? How they wanted it? How I could be just like them?

Wasn't his what they all did, night after night?

Despite the look, I kept feeling as encourage. The rest of the pirates cheering me on, the growing sensation of my soul spinning on invisible strings due to the grog, and by his attention.

His full attention on me and me alone.

I took another sip then, and swallowed it down quickly as I suddenly felt the room becoming a bit unsteady and hot.

I was glad I was sitting down now, and gripped the table with my free hand for extra balance.

“Look at him go.”

“He’ll remember this in the mornin.”

“He won’t remember anything in the monin.”

“Aye, he reminds me of you when ye first got here, Dan.”

A lot of them were now intrigued, and amused seeing me trying to be one of them. Losing my innocence as a governor’s son.

Knowing what I was trying to do, and enjoying watching me. Winning over their respect as I created a new experience for myself. Feeling what they were all feeling while drinking.

Now he could see how tough I was. How much I could take. How I was suited for a pirate life.

Then why did he not smile?

I could feel his hand tightened around my fingers as he suddenly forced me to look at him. As if not able to bare this any longer.

His face becoming a little blurry as it took my mind a second too long to register the image belonging to the moment.

“Bam, what do you think you are doing?”

He hissed quietly at me as the rest of the group had seen this moment as an opportunity to start binge drinking themselves a little more. More bottles seemed to have appeared on the table.

I wanted to touch his face as it hovered before me. Wanted to taste those full lips and run my hands under his shirt to feel the silky soft skin. Wanted to undress him, and have him shove me onto the table right in front of the crew. Have me and take me right now as he claimed me his.

But this wasn’t the time, I reminded myself.

Yeah…

He would probably be upset with me, would I try something.

Would I just kiss him right here.

I would never want to upset him.

So I simply kept looking at him as I tried not to slip away into my daydream.

Noticing my mind had starting to work in a different way.

A bit slower. A little strange. Shorter.

“I’m like a real pirate now.”

I heard myself slur, and wondered if I sounded as childish to him as in my own head.

I might have done yes. Causing him to smile a sly smile at me while shaking his head lightly.

I wanted to kiss him so bad.

Oh, he was so perfect.

I heard myself sigh as I boldly placed my free hand clumsily on his upper thigh. Teasingly running my fingers up as I stroked the silk of his breeches.

Making him tense under my touch as he quickly grabbed my hand into his and off his body.

“Bam, stop it. You have had enough for tonight. You are already tipsy.”

He warned me, but I simply giggled at him. He looked so adorable when he tried to be strict with me.

Couldn’t he see he did not need to be? That if he only stopped fighting this, we could be together forever?

Just like a perfect fairy tail.

If he was only a lightly brighter instead of so incredibly…pretty.

“Pretty.”

I heard myself mumble as I realized I was starting to speak my thoughts out loud. Clasping my hand over my mouth as I let the word slip, but unable to keep myself from giggling again as I did.

But it was a mistake. He did not share the cloud that lifted me.

Because I could feel his anger rising as he grabbed my wrist and pulled my fingers from my face to look at me.

“Bam, please. Be quiet.”

He almost begged me now, but none of it calmed me down. I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked around the room.

Fear that one of them would find out what he did to me behind closed doors.

The things he said. The things he did. The things I had done for him. To him. And how all of it made me feel.

Oh, they could all know. I did not care anymore.

…. I never had. I had never cared about them knowing. That was him.

For me it was something too beautiful. Something I was too proud of to ever want to hide. For me it was something to share.

Because it wasn't wrong. No, no it wasn't. It wasn't wrong.

No matter what they said...Dad, mom, Violet....church, the world. It was not wrong, because without him I would simply die.

For me my discovery of how it felt to be truly alive when I was in his arms was something to be celebrated.

And I was tired of his shame. Because I knew he felt it too.

Tired of pretending it was rape instead of what it truly was. Love. Beautiful and pure.

Didn't he know? Didn't he feel it too?

“Why? Why must I be? Don’t you love me?”

**



Part 2