Not all treasure is silver and gold - Chapter 15

Ahoy me good crew!!

More pages are updated now! If I forgot yours please let me know and I will fix it! Sorry, I kinda bit of more than I can chew here! *wink* Thanks all so much for all the creativity kitties!! You guys keep amazing me!!

Some of you guys even wrote a bio and posted a picture of themselves! I Actually used a picture myself to set an example! I suggest we all do the same! Pic is of course optional and so is the rest but come on...don't you wanne have the coolest pirate page? Of course you do! ARGGG!

Most of you have your own personal pirate flag now!! HURRAY! You don't? Than you did not pick a colour silly! I'm now only updating the pages of teh people actually participating! 
I'm sorry I'm no photoshop wonder, but I still hope you all like your pirate flag!!

You can still update whatever you like! Just tell me and I'll updatye your page. My email is KarinvanKralingen@hotmail.com

Ok, the pages can be found here: The Crew of the Black Heart
And since I had no time to check if every link worked, here are all the pages: LJ

Ok this week I gave you all Piercing! Check em out!! If you dont like it, please do tell and I will change it! Some people picked a number that was no piercing, so that can also be changed! Please let me knwo what you think!!

For the NEXT UPDATE! Seriously This is the real shit people!!! We are all related somehow to the worlds most awesome pirates Bam and Ville! Bam used to be a cabin boy before he became second Captain to the Black Heart, and they made history together! We are filling theirs hoes now!! As your last name will show you, you are related to either Bam or Ville, now please do give me a letter of the Alphabeth and  I will tell you how you are related to your family!! Pick one!!

Don't have a flag but want one??
The colours for my Flag

Update your page NOW!

OH And suggestions for future pirate page updates are very welcome!!!

-Captain karinvam and First matevillespunkchick

Not on the list? That means you are not a member of the Black Heart. Why the hell not?? Are you insane?? Sigh up now!!


Chapter 1 - Pirates!
Chapter 2 - Its all true
Chapter 3 - Yes Captain
Chapter 4 - Never trust a pirate
Chapter 5 - Waking up in hell
Chapter 6 - Not that innocent
Chapter 7 - Right Decision, Wrong Choice
Chapter 8 - Damn him!
Chapter 9 - Missed a spot
Chapter 10 - C'est une belle histoire
Chapter 11 -Kisses and Dramaqueens
Chapter 12 - Damaged
Chapter 13 - Liar


Chapter 15 – When I need you most

I could feel it, even before I had regained full consciousness.

I could feel I was not standing up anymore. I wasn’t even sitting down. I could feel my body being in a different position than I had left it in, and I felt my head spinning.

Afraid to open them and discover I was floating in thin air. That I would fall into nothing. As if the room would spin around me and throw me against the ceiling.

Gravity never made itself that present when your head was spinning like mine was right now.

I had only been gone for a few seconds. Or that was what it felt like. In reality I knew that I wasn’t in the kitchen anymore because of the smell, the temperature of the room, the different light shining into my still closed eyes...I was somewhere else. I had been moved after I had slipped away.

Yes I remembered everything....well, more or less. Up to that point where everything had went pitch black.

I had been unwell and had fainted. Yes, I realized it was the truth even though I knew it was unheard a man would simply faint like a lady. 

I had fallen down to the kitchen floor. Or had I? My body wasn’t aching, or hurting in any way. I knew he had been there in time to catch me.

As if I could always count on him to catch me. As if he was always there when I needed him. That he could feel, all the way form the other side of the ship, what it was I needed, as his soul crawled underneath my skin.

I was laying down, and I felt different fabric grazing my skin than the white shirt I had been wearing earlier. As a matter of fact, none of my clothing was still in place, and I felt my body being completely wrapped in fabric as soft as expensive as shiny silk.

As expensive as the sheets on his bed.

I was laying down, but I wasn’t laying down on a mattress. I wasn’t placed flat on my back. I was cradled. Cradled in strong arms. Cradled like a baby.

Being held by  a pirate.

And it felt like him. It smelled like him. It was him who was holding me like a beloved. Rocking me slowly back and forth as my head was in the crook of his neck. Making it able for me to inhale his scent and feel his warmth as he hugged me to his body.

I was in his room. On his bed. In his arms.

I knew before I even opened my eyes. I knew it was true.

Just for this reason, I decided to keep them shut for the moment.

And most outstanding of all, I knew it was him because of his voice. Because he was.....Singing?

Yes he was singing to me.

Singing to me in a deep, pure and clear voice. Soft and penetrating. Absolutely beautiful and unlike anything I had ever heard before.

Sounding surreal coming from him, as I had never expecting to hear him sing.

I realized now it was his warm voice that had lured me from my unconsciousness as he had been singing to me in my sleep and crawled into my dream.

My dream.....

Oh god, I now remembered.

Not the events of what happened before I fell, because that was all clear as crystal. No, I remembered how long I must have been out, since I had been having such a long and intense dream.

A dream that now came back to me.

Oh god no.

I wanted to close my eyes ever further, but it was impossible. Everything else but to open my eyes and see him above me. His face close to mine, I knew as his voice was close to my ear and his breath was stroking across my forehead.

Looking at him would only make it more impossible to forget that I had been dreaming about him once again. About his warm, soft skin against mine as his lips kissed me gently. His tongue making love to me and his hands rubbing my sensitive skin warmly.

No, No, God no….

It was so warm, and so comforting. In that dream I was able to let go of all those doubts and fears for once and feel how good it could truly be to have your body worshipped by an other.

And other one you adored as much as he adored you.

But it had been a dream. And I was relieved to at least know I hadn’t been feeling these things in the real word.

I pushed the dream away to lock it in my head and never let it out until it was ready for disposal. Together with those other dreams that had been haunting me every night on the ship.

Every single night since I we've met.

And the night before the ship where he had remained faceless. And the one before that.

All I could do now was regain control, and put myself together as I bought myself some time, laying here in his arms while pretending to be asleep.

Giving me the opportunity to clear my mind from every sinful thought and just pray.

Pray away those evil thoughts and the feelings inside my stomach as I felt his arms around me. Arms that hugged me, and made me feel safe as much as they made me feel small and vulnerable.

How could I want him as much as I didn’t? Why was he growing on me with all his quirks and downright insanity? Maybe because he was so unlike me as much he was exactly the same.

He knew where I was coming from, and still he did not understand it at all.

He was my capturer, as much as my savour and my keeper. My body wanted to snuggle closer to him and crawl inside of him as I knew no one could hurt me there.

‘Dear God, please help me.’

His voice invaded my prayer as I tried not to hear it. As I tried not to hear the emotions in his warm voice and the deepness of the lyrics penetrating my heart with it's beauty.

Making me wondering if the song was his, since it mirrored his darkness and beauty beyond perfection.

Should've known how hard it is to stop tearing each other apart
Separating souls entwined with all these labyrinthine lies

‘Dear god, Please help me get trough this. Please give me the strength to resist him. Help me to resist the temptation to sin.’

I am dead to you, a shadow doomed
My love, forever in the dark

‘Why did this have to happen to me God? Why me? Are you testing me? Or are you trying to teach me something?’

And of all untruths the truest is you
Too close to my heart

‘Because for the first time in life I am starting to doubt what is right, and what is wrong. And it is all because of him. God please give me a sign. Show me what to do.’

This emptiness I've made my home
Embracing memories of dreams long gone
One last caress from the corpse of love is all I want
Underneath the cyanide sun

But God seemed to answer me in one way only. Trough his voice. Trough his words. Trough the beautiful notes of the song. As if he was telling me to listen, instead of speaking. As if the answer had been here all along.

We've sailed the seas of grief on a raft built with our tears
Looking for a way to disappear for a moment from our deepest fears

As if manners and guidelines did not matter. As if sins were wiped out by his hand. As if the only thing to follow should be those raw, pure emotions forming inside my belly when I was close to him.

I'll be drowning you in this river of gloom
Forever in my heart

And that might all be a lie. But I was too overwhelmed with doubts to straighten it all out. I was so confused whether to hate him, or to wish he would kiss me again. Whether to kill him, or to stay put and to wait it out. To fear the God I believed in, or to base my decisions on my own instinct.

And my instincts were telling me to listen to his song. To hear what he was saying to me in my sleep as he sang to me.

 
Part 2