Not all Treasure is silver and gold - Chapter 11

I felt like I was walking on clouds for the rest of that day. That was what it felt like, and I couldn't help it.

The kiss he'd pulled me in to and shared with me had completely tossed my insides around until there was nothing more than a big pile of useless goo that was me.

My stomach was fluttering so wildly it was like a living thing inside my belly was trying to crawl it's way out of me, and my head was so light and spinning so wildly it was like someone had spun me round and round before sending me out into the world again.

The worst thing was; it felt good. Really good.

When his lips had touched mine in a demanding and forceful kiss, I hadn't gotten time to recover from the shock, or even realize what was going on as my body just responded on it's own.

His soft, plump lips had simply pressed roughly but still somehow gently against mine. His lips were relaxed and never tensed, but the force behind every muscle in the rest of his body was overwhelming.

The way he had held me and pressed me against him. The way his index finger had forced my head up and my lips against his. The way he'd hummed deep in his throat as he'd pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it gently into his warm mouth to demonstrate his need. It had my whole world shaken as he once again made me feel things I'd never felt before. Tasting his dark, dangerous and still so sweet taste on my tongue.

My whole body, so small against his tall, thin frame, had been trembling in his embrace, but he had held me strongly in his arms as he'd removed his finger from my chin after a few seconds, knowing I was pulled too far into him to refuse. Using his free arm to wrap around my neck and enlace his fingers in the soft curls in the nape of it. Massaging my skull gently and keeping my head in place.

My heart had been racing, my nose had been letting out panted breaths, and my heavy eyelids had closed themselves from his ministrations. Giving me the opportunity to focus only on the intensity of the feelings his touch awakened inside of me. To feel my body catch fire from the burning touch radiating from his fingertips. Every place he touched had started to spread a wonderful tingling sensation through my entire body, leaving shivers running down my spine.

His other arm had curled around me, as his hand held my waist and back, stroking it with fingers. His lips had massaged mine gently, as he'd released my now moist and abused bottom lip from between his teeth. I had felt my body doing the same to him as I had responded automatically to his commands. Leaving me with no control whatsoever. It was when he had slowly pushed his lips apart, forcing mine to do the same, and his warm, soft tongue had traced my bottom lip, begging me to open up for him, that a moan had escaped from the back of my throat.

Everything about him was so strong yet soft, hot, dark and powerful.

 Easy for anyone to drown completely into him and crave for more like an addict.

It was then that he had pulled away with a soft smile and an evil glint in his eyes as he looked into mine. My body slightly protesting from the loss of the heat, but my eyes instantly reconnecting with him as I never looked away. I was a puppet, and he pulled the strings. He always pulled the strings, no matter how often I tried to cut them loose. He would always pull those strings.

He had appeared completely calm once again as he had gently released my body from his grip. Looking absolutely peaceful and content. Amused even. Not at all as upset as he had been only moment's ago. Before that kiss.

I on the other hand had felt like a tornado had gone through my body, wrecking everything and leaving me with the disaster that was now my feelings. I had felt nothing more than pure lust and utter disgust.

There was no more denying it. Even though I would have given anything in the world to do so.

My body was attracted to him.

My heart felt for him.

My mind despised him.

That last part was all that made sense to me on this utterly confusing and absolutely horrifying ship that was good for nothing but the flames.

Yes, I could not deny my body responded like nothing else to his touch, and that I considered him magically and inhumanly beautiful. He could indeed arouse me with his gorgeous looks, dark hair and silk skin. And god his charm, his dark attraction. It was true.

And I felt for him, yes. For his broken childhood. For his dead mother. For his destroyed future. It could have been me standing in his place. It wasn't. But it could have been.

But there was still no excuse. He could have chosen a different path, and a different life. He could have chosen to be a good man. God would not forgive me such a slip as letting him have me willingly, and so he would never have me that way. I would be strong. I would close my heart and my eyes.

I would have to kill him still. Only for the sake of my own immortal soul.

He had cupped my face softly, keeping my head tilted upwards as he stroked my cheek with his thumb before he left me.

Jussi was wrong. I would never love him. And he would regret ever trying to love me.

Still, I walked on clouds for the rest of that day.

**

I quickly figured out what it was Dani really did on board the pirate ship, as I joined him quickly after being left alone in the kitchen .Left alone with flushed cheeks and quivering fingers as I got out of the room as soon as I could master the skills of walking again, and found Dani on the front deck with actual paper and a quill.

Dani wrote the logbook, he explained. Everything going on, everything happening that possibly had a form of importance, words that were exchanged, work done by pirates and treasures that were brought in or being sold. Even the use of the food. He wrote it all down.

It was for the Captain, he told me. He preferred to know everything so he always controlled the situation and knew when to step in. Having a logbook this extravagant was an extreme luxury on a ship, I knew, especially when the Captain didn't have to write it himself, but had it done for him.

So Dani could write, and that was extremely fascinating to me. I never ask how, but I did wonder it. A pirate like him….. He could write better than I could, and I spent all day helping him with the writings and learning new things ever second of every minute of every hour. No physical pain, just thinking, watching and writing. I actually enjoyed it tremendously.

I did. It made me forget about home. It made me forget about my father and my mother. It made me forget I was kidnapped by the worlds most evil pirate crew.

But it failed to make me forget his kiss. His touch. His smell. His eyes.

Are you ok Bam? You look a little…pale…” I heard Dani ask me as my finger traced my bottom lip for the millionth time that day as my mind wondered off as Dani tried to teach me to write small and easy words like ship, flag or ass, which had me blush and giggle as I tried not enjoy writing a foul word like that.

“I’m fine Dani, Thank you.” I gently lied to him, and he nodded.

I didn’t know what else to say. Whether to tell him about the kiss, and how it made me feel. The way I felt weak from my head all the way to the tips of my little toes. I figured that was not the best idea, because it would give all of them the wrong impression about me.

That I wanted it, or that I enjoyed his abuse. That I enjoyed being in his presence. That I felt anything other than hatred, fear and disgust towards him.

I didn’t…..I really didn’t….

I simply admired his appearance, and that was all. He manipulated me, but I wasn’t caving….

I wasn’t….I really wasn’t….

“Come on Bam, it’s time for dinner. You haven’t eaten anything since breakfast so you must be starving.” Dani finally announced. He rolled up his roll of paper and shoved it casually into the big pockets of his classy black coat together with the quill and jar of ink.

Placing a hand on my upper back, he led me gently to the stairs and I got struck with the realisation and fear of seeing the entire pirate crew again.

Seeing Jussi again…..Seeing the Captain again.

I swallowed hard and tried not to panic as I walked down those stairs with Dani, heading for the dinning room.

I really needed to toughen up.

**

As I picked at my delicious roast with baked potatoes on my golden plate with my golden fork I carefully looked next to me to see the Captain sitting on his priceless chair. If I hadn’t been surrounded by evil pirates I would have felt a true prince.

And the Captain would be the king. He had the best food of all on his plate, not to mention the most. Of course he had.

But he wasn’t eating. He wasn’t even paying attention to it. He just drank wine from his cup and shoved his plate a little further from him with his free hand before lighting another cigarette.

Smoking silently and not mingling in any conversation going on as he observed the room mildly amused as well as mildly….troubled in a way. I noticed Migé throwing worried glances at him from across the room as he was sitting across from me and I remember his comment about the Captains’ eating habits. He seemed to care about nothing as much as the Captains’ wellbeing.

He sure had one loyal crew, I knew. It was why they were so indestructible.

The seat next to Jyrki wasn’t taken, and I finally realized Jussi wasn’t here yet. I wondered why he wasn't joining the crew for diner.

Maybe he wasn’t allowed as a form of punishment.

Jyrki himself was looked terrible and he never made any effort to pay any attention to what was going on around him. He simply looked at his plate, eating slowly with slightly swollen eyes and a sad expression that I couldn’t place.

Other than that, the rest of the crew was eating and talking and laughing. Other than that, everything seemed perfectly fine.

Well….not for me of course….I was still kidnapped.

I quickly shifted my eyes back to the plate when I saw the Captain noticing my staring. I didn’t want him to think he occupied my mind in any way, or that I was worried about him.

But despite that I felt him looking at me anyway. His green eyes burning through me and seeing into my soul as his gaze didn’t leave me for the longest moment in my life. I didn’t dare to look beside me to see if he was still watching, because I felt that he was.

I just tried to concentrate on my beautiful plate, with the beautiful food, and trying to shut out the beautiful Captain sitting beside me, now wiggling on his chair to shove it slightly closer to mine. Having me gasp into my bite of food when his knee grazed mine ever so slightly.

Even now he seemed a little less high and mighty for the moment, he still found the time for teasing. Why wouldn’t he just let me be? Why was he always interfering in my thoughts and activities…?

Even when he wasn’t around.

He seemed to be able to seek contact with me even if I refused to answer. His soul just grabbed mine in a tight embrace even just sitting here next to him without making contact. It was very frightening to know that even under these circumstances, we seemed to be able to have that connection….even with me resisting and resenting it.

His attention finally shifted when the heavy wooden door suddenly opened itself, and everyone silenced at once. Still that did not put me at ease when I saw who it was entering the room.

It was the only person that hadn't been in the room, and so it was Jussi.

I looked up to see the dark haired short and wild haired looking pirate, relived he wasn’t looking back at me, but at the Captain with nervous eyes and hesitating steps into the dinning room.

He looked dreadful to be honest, and I felt sorry for him right at that moment. I couldn’t help it. He looked so scared and fragile. Somewhat bruised, and his hair was messy. It was obvious he had been punished roughly this afternoon and was still shaky from the whole happening.

And now he seemed to seek some sort of approval from the Captain to enter the room and join us. But he simply looked back at him in silence as smoke curled form his cigarette up to the ceiling.

Nothing happened for that moment as Jussi stood there like a wounded puppy while everybody stared at him, expect for Dani who intentionally looked away, with no words spoken. It was highly uncomfortable.

The Captain never broke the silence, and so Jussi seemed to realize that was expected from him to do so.

“Permission to join you’ll, Cap’n?” He finally asked a little shaky and with a small voice as he kept his eyes on Captain Valo with an expression that could almost be mistaken for a begging dog.

I half wished the Captain would just do something and make his discomfort disappear. On the other hand….I was the real victim in this room. I better keep that in mind.

Finally he exhaled that long drag of smoke.

“You know what I expect of you Jussi. Apologize to Bam and Dani. Than I’ll allow you to join us.”

His voice made a horribly delicious shiver run down my spine as I hissed quietly. It was so calm, and so stern and powerful at the same time. A request in that voice would never be denied. I knew that. And I feared it.

Jussi seemed defeated but not surprised, as he finally allowed his eyes to look away from the Captain’s crystallized green ones. Grunting his teeth together as he looked at his feet. His hands playing with one another in his discomfort.

It was obvious this was discussed earlier that day, and Jussi had hoped it would not have been brought up again.

He really resented doing this. But he did.

“Sorry Bam, Sorry Dani.”

It was softly spoken, insincere and almost rude. Not an apology my family would have ever expected from anyone.

But here it seemed enough. And I knew in my heart it didn’t matter. I accepted it anyway. Even Dani gave a small nod and a weak smile to his crew mate, who never noticed because he didn’t look up.

“Very well. And before you sit I need one more thing of you Jussi. I know you have broken my rules. I think you owe me your last apology.”

I looked next to me to see the Captain’s beauty radiating with something that could be called….hurt. He seemed angry with Jussi for doing those things. For obviously making them all more vulnerable they he would have cared for. For forcing him to drop his mask today.

And finally Jussi looked up as well, now without his earlier attitude of irritation and showing how the Captains’ words were hurting him most of all.

Tears shone in his eyes and he silently begged the Captain with his eyes. For forgiveness, or to not have him do this….maybe even for the release of the pain he had caused the Captain.

But his feelings were real, he was truly affected by these last words. I knew his words to me about the Captain earlier today me had never been to hurt or offend the Captain himself in any way. Even if the Captain didn’t know what had happened exactly.

He truly did love him.

“I’m sorry Captain.”

This time his apology was real, and true. He looked him straight in the eye with a quivering bottom lip and hurt in his eyes. In was a sincere apology.

And so the Captain approved. He nodded and pointed to the empty seat next to a miserable looking Jyrki, who instantly looked back at Jussi and searched for his eyes to connect with his. But Jussi never looked up again as he was seated.

“Great. Now everything is settled we'll pretend this never happened and go on as we were gents.”

The captain than announce, suddenly a lot more sounding like his old self as he seemed pleased with the resolved situation. Lifting the tension in the room as most of the crew cheered and took a huge gulp of their beers. All of the crew even….yes even Jussi took a sip of his beer with a nod of his head. All of the crew, but Jyrki.

No one seemed to notice but me, as the Captain made a joke that had Migé lroaring with laughter while Gas was now starting a sword fight with Timo with their dinner knives.

It seemed the only thing the crew needed to be relaxed and happily themselves here was the Captain’s good mood.

Everyone, but Jyrki.

**

It was when everyone had settled down and Jussi turned to his left to speak casually with Burton, not at all paying attention to hi neighbour, that he loud out a hard sob as he buried he face quickly in his hands. All before he stood up with a quick jerk and stormed out of the room without another word.

Leaving the whole room silent for a few small seconds before Jussi himself rose and quickly went after him with a small “ Jyrki, wait.”

Another awkward moment. Everyone looked at the other for a small moment as Jussi left the room, but no one tried to stop him. Most of the pirates staring at either me or the Captain…others, to the door both men had left through.

It was Gas's sigh that finally broke the silence and the tension.

“Long day today.”

“Why is everyone such a fucking drama queen? We are goddamn pirates damnit. ”The dark Bazie scolded harshly as everyone seemed to want to voice their opinion about the situation at once.

“Shut the fuck up Bazie. You know the reason for all this.”

“No he be right, I’m so fucking tired of this shit eey.”

It was the Captain of course who put a stop to the fall out by rising from his chair with his white shirt flowing around his thin frame to show his silk clad round hips and legs. His beautiful hair casually draped back over his shoulders and his green eyes a little more tired and dark looking than usual.

Still he did not seemed sad or upset in anyway. He still appeared tall and powerful. And strict. Like a true Captain.

“All right gentleman. Dinner’s over. Everyone get to bed. Burton, look after Jyrki for me.” He commended in small sentences and the pirates silenced at once. Standing up and doing as told. Except for the one pirate who was now rising from his chair staring right at me with angry eyes.

“This is all yer fault ye little worm. If you hadn’t…..”

“Migé, that’s enough! Do as you’re told.”

The Captain now started to loose his patient as he hissed his words and placed a hand on the small of my back as I raised from the chair. He could feel my shivering body, I knew, and so he knew how Migé’s words affected me. Perfect…

Today had been confusing enough as it was. Jussi’s words about the Captain, telling me he could never love me in a way he actually thought that would ever matter. Telling me I shouldn’t fall for him…. as if THAT would ever matter.

Learning about the Captain’s past.

That kiss.

I knew if he was captured by the government and executed right this moment, I would dance on his grave and place roses on it at the same time.

I felt for him. I felt for Jyrki. I felt for Jussi. I felt for Dani. There was no denying it. I felt for them in a way I hated them all but I never wanted to see them get hurt.

Why?

Because they had showed me their humanity. They had showed me pain and love growing inside them all. And that was hope for my salvation. And for theirs just as much. They would have mercy, maybe, when it counted.

It was sick, but true.

I was rudely grabbed by the Captains strong grip on my arm  as he passed me all of a sudden as he dragged me with him out of the room. The rest of the men all leaving to their bunks as we went into the corridor that led to his cabin.

He was strong, but not hurting me as he seemed a little extra careful.

Dragging me along with him with a silent. “ Come with me Bammie. Let’s go to bed.”

He seemed quiet, and tired even from the whole situation back in the dining room, but I knew he wasn’t really. His eyes looking back at me as we walked told me he trusted everything to work out just fine, and that he had other things on his mind right now.

Me.

He had worked himself up all day after that kiss. Had been waiting to get me here and alone after that moment. I wish I could just die.

**

The moment we reached his room and opened the door he made me gasp in surprise as his green eyes now turned lighter as they looked back at me with a sweet but lustful smile before he suddenly slammed my body against the wooden wall next to the door of his cabin next to his desk. Pressing his own against it instantly.

“I’m sorry about all that Bammie. About everything today. It must have been a little confusing for you.” He spoke in a whisper, his lips close to mine as he looked down his nose to see me.

The move was so sweet and so intimidating at the same time. Everything his character could be. I realized he had been dying to get me alone for this entire day.

I simply nodded with widened eyes, as one of his fingers rose to stroke my cheek.

“But it will soon be clear to you sweetheart. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it. Jussi and Jyrki have always had a stormy little thing going on. You have nothing to do with that.” He shushed sweetly, making me feel a heated sweet shiver shooting right down into my groin.

“O-ok..” I managed to choke out, making the Captain smile as all the other noises died down in the background now everybody was gone.

“I feel bad for you puss. I’ll make you feel good, yes?”

He played, bringing his face so close to mine his lips almost grazed my parted one as I panted hard from the feeling of his hard yet gentle body against mine. Talking to me about pleasing me while my body screamed in approval. And my mind begged him to stop.

It was sin. It was wrong…it was…..

The voice died in the back of my head.

He was so slim I could curl my whole hand around his waist if I tried. And those tattooed arms, they held me gently in place.

Those lips playing a game with mine as his dark hair grazed my cheeks and his chest slightly heaving from his own excitement. And those half closed eyes that still showed the green glint underneath the lids. Good lord in heaven.

“ I-I-I Just don’t……”

“Shhhh, it’s ok. I won’t hurt you……Just tell me what's bothering you my love. Tell me how you feel and how I can make it better.”

He encouraged me as he placed a small sweet kiss on my lips before withdrawing and doing it again. I knew he was mostly talking about the kiss. But I would not give him that satisfaction. He couldn’t know how he affected me. He couldn’t. I would rather die.  

“J-J-Jussi’s words….’kiss’…. confused me….’kiss’….. a bit, but Dani ….’kiss’……explained a lot and…’kiss’….I’m o-ok…’kiss’….. now…”
I stuttered between the soft kisses he gave me, setting my soul on fire with the tenderness of it and making my knees buckle underneath me as he didn’t seem to focus on the words I spoke but more on my lips and body as he gently pressed himself more up against me.

“Yes, well that’s good Bammie…”

He moaned quietly, as he was now pushing me lightly into the direction of his cabin as he kept kissing me. Now moving down to my neck as he started sucking lightly as pleasure shot through me, making me moan.

I wanted to push him off and tell him no…

But I didn’t want to.

“As long as you're…”

He never finished his sentence. Suddenly stopping his ministrations and pulling back to look into my eyes with confusion.

Almost making me groan from the loss of his mouth. Almost making me cry form happiness that he was at least leaving my body alone for the moment.

Finally opening his mouth, not to finish his sentence but to ask me a new question. One that I never wanted to answer.

“ Wait….what DID Jussi tell you this morning?”






Ok kids, another cliffhanger.....Bitch about it!! Please do!! Than at least I did a good job!! Aaaaaaw no I'm just being mean like a Captain can be! But You know I'll love you all! Hope you all behaved when I was gone, or just stayed piratey! I'm leaving again this Thuseday for 10 days but now I know you are all good kiddies when I'm gone so I trust you to do it again so I can spoil you when I come back!
Please comment cause I just want to know what you think and maybe you have some cool wishes or tips or you absolutely hate it, and I would like to know!! No Really I do!
AND don't forget to check your flag if you picked one, and PICK A NUMBER! 1 to 12!!
All my love my dear crewmates!!