Not all treasure is silver and gold – Chapter 49

Past that point – Part 3



 

Not all treasure is silver and gold – Chapter 49

Past that point – Part 2

Not all treasure is silver and gold     
-Past that point
Author: karinvam 
Pairing: Argg maties… This is Vam!
Rating: NC-17. Romance, humor, fluff and little angst
Disclaimer: This could have happened if Bam and Ville lived around 1700 and Ville had been a pirate and….*sigh* Alright, this never happened…I don’t own shit. *sobs*

Summary: (Not a Pirate of the Caribbean parody! Ville is not Jack, Bam is not Will) 
Highly catholic Brandon Margera is the 15 year old son of the governor, on his way to his new boarding school. 27 year old Captain Valo is the feared captain of the notorious pirate ship: The black heart. What happened if Valo’s pirate ship comes across this valuable boy and kidnaps him for ransom?
Warning: This story contains a sexual relationship between a 15 year old boy and a 27 year old man. Sex, bad language and violence….This story has it. You don’t like that stuff? Than please do not read.

A/N: Hi sweethearts! Finally an update! As most of you know I am graduating from University in a month, and so my free time is veeeery limited, but I am not letting you down! I am still totally writing! Thanks so much for understanding you guys! ANd for all the wodnerful birthday wishes!! You guys really are the best friends anyone! could have!! Also manyyy thanks to all the sweethearts who voted for me! That really means soo much to me!!! =D!!
I am going to see a band called Alestom tonight! Which is a pirate metal band! SO I am sure they cna inspire me a little!! =P SO fun!!
I love you all so much for sticking by me!! You are the best!!

Dedicated to Villepunkchick!! My sweetheart who i totally get to see again this Summer YAY!! I am so happy about that baby!!!! =D Love you so much!!
ToLillithValo, For supporting me so much and making me the most amazing drawings!! You are incredably honey!!!You always make me smile!!
And all my Vam lover- sweetheart! You are all so important to me! I love you all so much! 
( Wake up )



( Past that point )</div></div>

Chapter 49 – Past that point

I could not believe this was happening. I simply couldn’t grasp it.

Whether it were the unshakable, burning images on my retina, or simply my own unfeasable reaction to them.

It was nothing. It meant nothing.

Yet it had me shaking, sweating cold and clutching stomach as I laid face down on the cold and empty bed. Biting back noises that would humiliate me further and clawing restlessly at the silk underneath my clenched fingers.

How could I…How dare I….? 

Why did I betray myself like this?

I curled my legs up higher to my chest as I felt my body stilling. It seemed to grow solid, as the cold reached the end of my toes. I was too numb to shiver, and kept frozen in place, arms wrapped around my knees and lashes against silk. I felt my warm but shallow breath curling around my face as I breathed into the sheets pressed against my face.

I had promised myself….I had enjoyed the moment. I had laughed and smiled and ignored any haunting thoughts about the unknown future. We had danced, and he had made me fly high above any worries that could burn my heart harder than my love and happiness in his arms.

But he had released me, and I had fallen. Hard.

It was hollow, empty. It was temporary and so fragile. I had been more than foolish to think a ‘party’ could solve any of my real pains and worries.

I had not seen before, that we were far beyond a point we were could coexist together in happiness, like once before. We were past that, and now there was nothing but pain in my heart. I was loosing him so fast, with my feelings growing deeper every moment.

Everything he did, every move he made or word he spoke, effected me. When we were together…close, touching, enjoying each others company, my nerves seemed to explode with delight. But when we were not, I seemed to shrink into a miserable pile of nothing.

Like now.

Because I knew what was to come, and it tied my insides into a knot.

At the party, while we danced, halfway that damn song, …he had let me go. He had not let me float in my …’specialty’, as he called it, no. He had given me his share of time to give, before someone else had gotten a share.

Maybe I wasn’t that special after all.

Ok, maybe I was unreasonable, and I was definitely a fool clinging desperately and pathetically onto nothing, but it had stung more than I had ever been prepared for.

The party had become wilder, as all man had started to jump and sing and dance when the music started. Drunken off their asses, and in very high spirits.

He had released me when Bazi jumped on his back in a drunken stumble….that had only made me laugh. He had spun Jyrki as he danced around the playing and singing Linde, and it had made me clap my hands. He had dragged Dani off the table by his legs as the short pirate shouted and laughed, and it made me grin.

But when Jussi had walked towards him, my heart had frozen into a very painful lump of stone and tears. When their arms had wrapped around each other in a warm embrace I had tried to swallow away a heavy lump in my narrow throat. When they had smiled and pressed close together in a dance my hands had clenched tight into fists that wouldn’t be able to do any harm even if I tried. When my Captain had pressed a kiss to the corner of the mouth of the smaller pirate, I had turned my head and backed away from the room.

It was all that had happened. It was all that I had seen. Forgiveness exchanged between comrades. But that kiss, that smile….the way they had exchanged….everything, anything. It reminded me of myself, and they way he handled me.

Maybe I was no more special than Jussi, or any of the others. Maybe I was really just one of his dear ones, until I would go back home.

But the thought of it, when all I could do was love him so deeply it hurt and consumed my insides….my very soul, it seemed so incredibly unfair.

Wasn’t I just that little different? Wasn’t there the tiniest spark in his heart for me? Because mine was burning black for him.

It was unfair, and surreal. Could reality be so different for one person than for the other? Was there no such thing as meant to be, or soul mates? Was there never a true connection to be found deeper than lust and love?

I sighed, I did not know. But I felt betrayed. Betrayed by myself and my own panic in these thoughts.

I was stupid, and naive, and I hadn’t changed as much as I had hoped. And so I let the tears run free as I cursed myself. Not my Captain….me.

I loved him, I couldn’t change that, but something had to. I could try to push it back. I could try to shut it out. Numb down, and kill the burning pain in my heart and throat every time he would do something like this. Every time he wouldn’t tell me what I needed to hear. And he would always be like that…forever.

I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t rely on him. He had told me this so many times before. He never promised any different.

He cared for me, but his feelings weren’t growing. Weren’t different. I was merely the only cabin boy that ever had the privilege to share his bed, and sometimes his mind. But never his heart.

And that was something I could never hold against him. He had warned me. He had told me this long ago.

And so it wasn‘t the embrace with Jussi that had upset me, no. It was the true realisation that  I had placed myself on a higher stage I was deserving of.

Something I should have understood long ago now made me crawl away from the party I was responsible for, and had me curled up and crying in the dark and lonely bedroom we shared.

But wasn’t it any way mine.

I was such a lovesick fool, and I hated myself for it.

He had me eating out of the palm of his hand, and I hated myself for it.

He didn’t love me…

 …and I hated myself for it.

**

 
Part 2

Heey you sweet babies!! =D

 By LillithValo <3

To everyone who sees this post (I am not gonna bore a community with this =P) Thanks so much for visiting my page!!
I am working very hard on the next treasure chapter(updtae following soon, AND PREPARE FOR AMAZING LILLITHVALO ARTWORK!!!), plus I am trying to graduate University in 2 months, but in a rare moment of boredom I thought it was funny to enter a filmposter contest for New Moon (new Twilight movie)
There are 750 poster, so it really was just for fun, but now 2 of my posters are in the top 30! (the one I liked best is not!)
Since I am so not winning I would like to ask you guys if you could vote for poster 20 and 23! That would be awesome, cause I never win anything =P And I would like to change that for just once!!
Here is the link: http://twilightguide.com/tg/twilight-graphics/new-moon-posters/

Thank you guys so much for voting and helping me out!!!!! You guys rock!!
Love you!!
Karin

Not all treasure is silver and gold – Chapters 48

Not all treasure is silver and gold – Chapters 48

Not all treasure is silver and gold     
-Princes and Kings
Author: karinvam 
Pairing: Argg maties… This is Vam!
Rating: NC-17. Romance, humor, fluff and little angst
Disclaimer: This could have happened if Bam and Ville lived around 1700 and Ville had been a pirate and….*sigh* Alright, this never happened…I don’t own shit. *sobs*

Summary: (Not a Pirate of the Caribbean parody! Ville is not Jack, Bam is not Will) 
Highly catholic Brandon Margera is the 15 year old son of the governor, on his way to his new boarding school. 27 year old Captain Valo is the feared captain of the notorious pirate ship: The black heart. What happened if Valo’s pirate ship comes across this valuable boy and kidnaps him for ransom?
Warning: This story contains a sexual relationship between a 15 year old boy and a 27 year old man. Sex, bad language and violence….This story has it. You don’t like that stuff? Than please do not read.

A/N: Hi honeys!! I know it has been a while but I am not dead! I have been having some issues with my health, but that is mostly taken care of now so I am back and ready to rock! Starting off with a pirate party to keep it light and fun! I am really sorry you gusy and I do get that a lot of people have moved on by now, but for everyone who still reads my stuff...Thank you from the bottom fo my heart, and I love you all SO much!!!!!
Plus if you do not read it anymore, still chekc out the drawing of AMAZING Vam artist; LillithValo! She made anotehr breathtaking drawing for this chap, and it's gonna blow you away!! Love all you guys!!!

Dedicated to Villepunkchick!! My pirate love and babygirl! I love, miss and need you baby! You are my world!! =D You make my lif so much more liveable!
ToLillithValo, Darling you drawing is the best thing about this chap! Your work is the best about this story! You are amazing!!
And to Jaythorne for making a banner for this fic! Thank you so much sweetheart! =D!
And all my Vam lover- sweetheart! You are all so important to me! I love you all so much! 
( Wake up )



  ( You are )</div></div>

Not all treasure is silver and gold - Chapter 47
You are - part 3

**

Not all treasure is silver and Gold - Part 2
Chapter 47 - You are

Not all treasure is silver and gold     
-You are
Author: karinvam 
Pairing: Argg maties… This is Vam!
Rating: NC-17. Romance, humor, fluff and little angst
Disclaimer: This could have happened if Bam and Ville lived around 1700 and Ville had been a pirate and….*sigh* Alright, this never happened…I don’t own shit. *sobs*

Summary: (Not a Pirate of the Caribbean parody! Ville is not Jack, Bam is not Will) 
Highly catholic Brandon Margera is the 15 year old son of the governor, on his way to his new boarding school. 27 year old Captain Valo is the feared captain of the notorious pirate ship: The black heart. What happened if Valo’s pirate ship comes across this valuable boy and kidnaps him for ransom?
Warning: This story contains a sexual relationship between a 15 year old boy and a 27 year old man. Sex, bad language and violence….This story has it. You don’t like that stuff? Than please do not read.

A/N: Hi You guys! I am back! (sorta) Kidney crisis under control so to speak, so I am very happy to be home from the hospital! That was so not cool, and I have never bene to the hospital for me, so that was nee....=P And I didn't like it! Thank you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for all the sweetness and support, and to thank you I want update and soon as posisble which is now, to let you know I am back and totally wirting again!! Please let me what you think, and I hope you enjoy it, even if it isn;t extremely long! Love all you guys so much!!

Dedicated to Villepunkchick!! Baby I love you and need you forever! Don't ever leave me!!Please! I miss you so much!!
ToLillithValo ,Ohh Boy tehre are some breathtaking drawings coming up for you guys, and for making my this AWESOME new banner!! Lillith is on a roll and she is doing it like no one can!!
And to Jaythorne for making a banner for this fic! Thank you so much sweetheart! =D!
And all my Vam lover- sweetheart! You are all so important to me! I love you all so much! 
( Wake up )

( You are )